Can’t sleep

So it’s 4.34am and I can’t get back to sleep. I’m back at my mom’s place since L is on a work trip in India. Kinda brought back some memories and it struck me that some memories are fading. What triggered this thought was when I tried to find some pics from our vertical marathon 2012 runner up pics and couldn’t find them. Even on social media! (was insta a thing then? could I have the pics if I didn’t delete my old account?)

Then I decided that I should jot down my personal achievements / highlights of life so that M and B2 (bubba 2) can understand me better and know that I’m actually quite proud of myself (lol) 🤭😂

Lower primary: constantly getting like 96-98 marks for everything, top 5 etc.

Age 10: EM1 and my first 100 for math SA2 though not indicated in report book I saw it on my teacher’s book haha sad that only can see band ZZ (90 SA1 I think). Got second in class after dad’s friend’s Daughter Emma lol I can remember ahem

Age 11: performed as a “Mother” for Chinese speech and drama and although I think I was the only tall enough candidate for that lol but then again… good exposure

Age 12: repped my school for an IT competition at nanyang girls and it seemed like my teacher thought I had hope hahaha cos I was from 6A but actually pls what did I know about computing. HAHA! didn’t win but thought my dream school = nygh but obviously didn’t get in. Got 238 for psle which was not good at all, missed cedar by 3 marks appealed the first time but when school results came out, didn’t. Was quite apprehensive about going to a girls school.


Age 13: made a choice to join Netball – thought it was something popular (considered girl guides at first but there was this bitchy senior scary). Got into the school team and played I think 1 minute GS during my debut. Lol it was at northland/Yishun and I didn’t even know how to pivot.

Age 14: 3rd in north zone (now my memory is fading and I seriously can’t really rmb). Got into the combined school training squads but didn’t go for it cos studies first. Think I got into the u-15 one year but can’t rmb which.

Age 15: 1st in north zone. (Should be la) National team 17-u training squad. Failed piano grade 7 cos I was too nervous and screwed up a fast song. Think I got 97, 100 to pass.

Age 16: 1st in north zone, 3rd in nationals. I rmb the whole school clapping when we won rgs. Serious mode. For one year’s north zone finals the school bus-ed people to Yishun sports hall. We won st nicks that year and got a half day off for the whole school. Haha proud moments.

Age 17: got into ajc through Netball. Met lifelong friends during first 3 months (at least lifelong for now). Top 4 for nationals – lol cos it’s A div. Finally played at Toa Payoh sports hall against rgs in 3/4th but lost. Still think my coach didn’t have enough experience to see their “GK trap/fake” at that time. Failed promos by 3 marks for economics.

Age 18: had to wipe the library tables during orientation while people were there. Built resilience and was quite thick skinned and shameless. Survived but quit Netball after A div. Was quite irresponsible but thought I paid my dues for the two years. Met lifelong friends as well in 30/06 and joined bridge club lol. Which had 2 people by year end. Celebrated my birthday with a ba zhang after Sentosa at classmate’s function room.

Age 19: “A” levels. Terrible times. Played for A div though I didn’t train for it, I guess it was unfair to the person who actually trained for my position. Passed A levels, saddest moment when ah po passed away.

Age 19/20: taught a special school for about 6 months before Uni. Couldn’t decide between NTU and NUS – chose ntu media engin and then transferred to fass. Even considered Smu at some point (think I got into that cos of sports). Made my first and only trip to the states – California: Palo Alto, San Fran, Vegas etc. started school, stayed in Temasek hall. Second for hall games which made me rather annoyed cos I didn’t win all the way (even came back to play in year 4 after graduation)

Age 21 : celebrated with good friends at Angus steakhouse + gay club haha. Boom boom pow. Was doing a teaching internship during that period so I technically spent half my birthday working/typing.

Age 22: first real boyfriend + ah gong passed away (all in that few days). Went on exchange to hk, it was fun!

Age 23: went on exchange to Copenhagen, visited London and Paris. Caught in an E. coli outbreak/ riot / storm it was very dramatic!

Age 23/24: graduated end nov 2011, officially 29 Feb 2012. Worked part time before graduation thinking that will be my full time job but too much drama so I joined the gov. Bought a house literally on my 24th birthday but cancelled it much later.

Age 25: visited incredible India. Started my masters.

Age 26: completed my masters. Took a leap of faith, like seriously, a life changing one that did not make much sense to many but was glaringly right for me.

Age 26/27: got engaged 1 month after dating with the official proposal being 3 months after near Christmas ?!

Age 27/28: got married had a kiddo, kept it a secret for so long

Age 28/29: bought a new house, joined the private sector, quit the private sector

Age 30: got keys to the new house, and expecting kiddo number 2!

goodnight !

Wouldn’t it be nice

Wouldn’t it be nice if words strung together meant more than meanings of words alone;

Wouldn’t it be nice if songs we sang resonate with the same tone;

Wouldn’t it be nice if joy and excitement were brought about the similar little things;

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could sit right next together, think about life after we exchange our wedding rings.

The road to 30

Ups and downs, life changing perspectives, choices and steps that we take that inevitably change your whole life.

I’m thankful for my choices, my lao gong, my bubba, my family, my lucky stars, for life to be not as tough as the pessimist sometimes in me imagines it to be (maybe anxiety not pessimism).

Soon to be 30!


People say that when you get older, you need to keep a diary. Because memory fails, or perhaps it’s an avenue to escape to your youth to feel what you felt. I guess when you’re old (and probably grumpy) you probably can’t do many exciting things that you can do when you’re decades younger. And shit gets more real. Health problems, bills, early retirement/ retrenchment versus paying bills for shopping too much, thinking of which job to switch to…

Turning 30 in less than 1.5 months is scary. The end of an era, the start of a new decade. During my late twenties I have started to wonder about the meaning of life, I probably had when I was younger before I joined the “I love fluffy clouds” phase where I tried to minimise the confusing thinking.

I conclude that for now – life to me is to find the meaning of life. To experience life. It’s an experience. I’ve come to understand that to gain perspective, you need time and to go through certain events. It’s true that you learn from every experience. It’s also true that you shouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

I think I found my calling – in terms of religion that is. I’ve grown up in a Buddhist family and I’ve a lot of respect for the religion / way of life. But I’ve slowly gravitated towards Christianity. Because I do feel that sometimes I speak to god, or maybe an inner voice. When they say that god has plans for you, I actually believe that. Though sometimes, it sounds like what they call “fate”. However, I do believe the purest form of it though – or maybe purest in my mind, without all the other extras / preaching / terms & conditions that christians label Christianity as. I do know though, that I’ve lots to understand and learn.

About life, I have so much to write.

Sometimes the world goes doom and gloom, a sudden engulf of despair but it usually gets blown away by a mere distraction. I sometimes think that I probably had a good life before I grew up and that’s why a little sadness feels like doom and gloom.

About love, it is a never ending piece as well. I could write so many stories, and in my head I’ve recounted so many things that I could pen down. But would I? Does it come with repercussions? What do I want to achieve from this ? You see, being an adult makes you logical – slowly you lose your creative flair, that’s if, if you care too much.

about love, it requires work and effort. Why is it not always fine & dandy? You win some battles and you lose some. About love, everlasting love… Seriously, it all depends if you and your partner fight for it and if you sign a peace treaty to end all wars. That being said, sometimes you lose a part of yourself through compromise, and truthfully there’s a limit.

About being a parent – I couldn’t bring myself to write the word ‘mother’ because it sounds too old and it comes with so much ‘deep’ responsibilities. Though there is nothing you want more than to see your child grow up happily and healthily – with you being there of course. While there are some things that only the riches can bring, there are others like ‘presence’ that I probably can improve on. Though I should hope to be rich as well. Tick tock the time is ticking.

So here are my thoughts on life, though an incomplete entry. I can go on and on about life’s purpose in terms of career – but I should write that piece another day. I guess ranting really helps you on a relatively bad day.

It’s tough though, when you’re being put in a mould, and blamed for not performing to ‘expectations’. And if you’re doing 3 out of 5 things though the accuser is doing probably a 2. It seems like our brains are wired differently and it’s affecting mine.

Alright, for now ranting ends. 🙉

Guavapass versus kfit


One of my resolutions for the year is to keep fit or rather, GET fit so I tried out the new way to exercise – a monthly subscription/class-based app that allows different classes. To be honest, I didn’t know that such things exist until recently. Here’s my take on guavapass and kfit!

Guavapass (
Guavapass was like a breath of fresh air and felt exclusive. If you didn’t sign up as a member, you couldn’t browse their classes – which made it quite cool because you always want what you can’t get. I started off as a 6-class member and went for 3+1 (late cancellation).

I must say that guavapass has a lot of studios that looked really cool. I signed up with a barre class (which I cancelled in the end cos I wasn’t feeling so well), and also a few yoga classes. The process was pretty easy but I thought that it was pretty pricey because I couldn’t finish the 6 classes in the time that was given.

Weirdly, I think they have changed their pricing plans to give 2,4,10 class options. 10 classes – $199 and to finish it in 3 months. At $19.90/class sounds alright.

What I liked most about guavapass was the additional events that they organised. I went for a spinning class and a barre x ballet class which I thought was fun. I didn’t continue with the package in the end because through guavapass I found a yoga studio that I really liked and signed up with them yet. My loss!

Kfit (
I stumbled upon kfit while googling for guavapass actually. Priced at $129/month for 10 lessons – it sounded like a really good deal ($12.90 each!). There was also a promotion on fave (groupon) and I bought a one month membership for only $89! That means each class costs only $8.90.

HOWEVER, the sad thing is that I only went for 3 classes – 2 yoga classes (a studio that I go to usually and another new one near my house), and a bounce class which was really fun. That makes each class about $30! I wasn’t very clear about the packages too and some classes cost additional (which in my opinion doesn’t really make sense because they seem to be similar to other classes?)

One good thing about kfit though is the quick customer service – i cancelled in the morning and got an email right on that day. No repeated marketing materials from kfit too that I got from guavapass (that’s good for me and bad for their marketing team I guess).

(1) Always look out for promo codes / deals to try each one first and see which suits you better in terms of location / studios / packages.
(2) If you can make time 10 classes a month, choose kfit for a good deal
(3) Go for Guava events which are pretty frequent and don’t require a membership!



How do you make a video game with 3 gigantic monsters a hit at the box office? The answer is, add The Rock. Seriously, any movie that he is in adds the entertainment element and though the movie plot was predictable, I enjoyed it (despite terrible reviews that I read online)!

For those who do not know, Rampage is about a genetic experiment gone wrong. The ‘virus’ crashes back into Earth as the lab at the space station explodes – the virus is caught by a wolf, a lizard/crocodile looking creature and last but not least, a friendly silverback gorilla who is BFFs with The Rock. In this case, The Rock assumes the role of a primatologist Davis who communicates with the gorilla with sign language. Of course, The Rock is no normal animal scientist but one who combats illegal wildlife trade around the world. He also shares a special bond with the gorilla who he affectionately named ‘George’.

Without spoiling too much but I think you should have already guessed, the monsters destroy the city as they are lured by some radio frequency tower by the owners of the genetic engineering science company. The reason why they wanted to lure the monsters back was to feed them the ‘antidote’ but seriously – did it cross their minds how they could administer the antidote and where do they ‘hide’ these crazy enormous animals?

Anyway, catch Rampage in cinemas – it’s pretty entertaining and feel good, because you always enjoy a happy no-brainer and well, there’s The Rock!

More details of the video game here:

Pic credits:

Movie Review: A Bad Moms Christmas

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 A Bad Moms Christmas seems like my long awaited Rom Com and it is based on my favourite season of the year – Christmas! I didn’t know that it is actually part 2, but since it’s easily understandable, you probably don’t have to watch part 1 ( !

Based on 3 friends – Kathryn Hahn, Mila Kunis and Kirsten Bell, the moms meet their moms and get into a 3 generational mess which is magically solved during Christmas!

Though it’s November and maybe I haven’t gotten the Christmas spirit this year, the 101 minute romantic comedy was quite a drag. This came as a surprise for me though since I usually love such shows.

It’s pretty weird seeing “Diane Lockhart” as the stereotypical perfect grandma too.

Trailer here:

You can get your tickets here if you can get a good promo or just want to catch the hot girls on screen:

I guess I rate it 1.5 – 2 (for Christmas) out of 5 stars. Sigh!